It's been almost 2 years since I have posted to this blog. Believe me, I have tried. I have about 25 saved draft posts that never got published because they ended up sounding like the same repetitive story. Another pattern of rumination. Another soliloquy of self pity.
That's because the last three years of my life have been fairly cyclical and unchanged. I have a few good weeks where my symptoms plateau and I faint only once or twice a month. Then, a storm hits. I get a cold and I crash into a regressive phase where I faint daily, injury myself, get frustrated, and then slowly move back up to the plateau.
I have been tired and frustrated as I put grad school on pause, as I continue living with my parents, as I take three steps forward 2 steps back. So I stopped blogging and started to do what I could to move forward, pretending I am not sick, and working on ways to get healthier like a normal 24 year old. But still on pause.
But over the last few weeks, I have gotten several amazing pieces of news. I have gotten an offer from Oregon State University to teach undergraduate classes while working on my master's in Public Policy. My partner got a similar offer for studying and teaching creative writing. We started to plan our move out to Oregon. But I held on to my signed contract, not mailing it in, knowing that I couldn't move 3,000 miles away when every few weeks brings another flare of symptoms.
Then, I got the call.
After nearly 3 years on the waitlist with Canine Partners for Life for a cardiac alert service dog, I have been paired with John the service dog. John will provide me with stability and support with walking and standing throughout the day. He will also be able to alert me to my syncope, giving me the ability to prevent a fainting spell or get myself to a safe place. I cannot begin to describe the reassurance and independence this new partnership will provide me.
Canine Partners for Life has 30 years of experience training service dogs. They have paired dozens of dogs with individuals with my exact condition and many have been able to prevent cardiac episodes all together because of their service dog's alerts. You can see NBC’s Brian Williams talk about them here.
With the gift of John, comes a lot of financial expenses. John and I will meet and train for three weeks together this July in Pennsylvania, where we will learn about each other and become partners. During those three weeks, I need to cover the cost of various training field trips, travel expenses, lodging, dog food, and a very long list of service dog supplies. Canine Partners asked for me to only pay for a fraction of the $30,000 it cost to train John over the last two years. My goal is to raise $5,000 to help cover these costs. I am doing so here: https://www.gofundme.com/bring-john-home-to-tori
Being paired with John has already opened so many doors for me. I have committed to OSU and will start classes in September. I will bring John home in July and we will start our move out west. For the first time, in a long long time, I feel confidant making plans.
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