Growing Deeper Roots: My Story of Invisible Illness

Today, I'm feeling a little defeated. Maybe I got cocky or too comfortable with the last few days of normalcy. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were really good days for me. I had a slight headache on Monday, but other than that, I have been fairly non-symptomatic. I started doing some normal things, shopping with Kate, going to the dentist, going out to dinner. I even went to see Jim Gaffigan at the Wolf Trap. I've been feeling pretty good. Until today.  I knew when I woke up, with a BP of 78/68, that it wasn't going to be as successful of a day. My stomach was hurting, I felt a little foggy, and by noon, I had fainted.  Still, I went to PT with the hope of getting my energy level up and leaving the session feeling better. Well, I made it half way through the session before the squats got the better of me. This was the first time I've ever fainted in PT (this office, at least). Kevin, my physical therapist, was right there with an additional spotter so I did not h...

I talk a lot about the frustration and difficulty that I face every day with my struggles with dysautonomia. I can't pretend that this is a battle that I wanted to fight or a gift I wanted to receive. But it is something in my life. It is something huge that was thrusted upon me and I can't change that. So sometimes, I have to own it. I have to proudly wheel through the grocery store. I have to make tumor jokes. And I have to take note of the changes that are happening in my life, because although they feel out of my control and some of them just really suck, there are a few changes in my life that aren't so bad. Saying that the tumor and the dysautonomia gave me something positive sounds odd, but when you're faced with a something like this, sometimes it helps to count the blessings. If I had never started faint, if I had never found the tumor, if I had never gotten sick, I would have spent my summer in Scotland or D.C. working life changing internships and taking c...