Growing Deeper Roots: My Story of Invisible Illness

"Everything happens for a reason." -Someone who has never mourned.  This dangerously misled and shallow misinterpretation of life is nothing less than emotional, spiritual, and psychological violence. It is nothing less than utter bullshit.  Whether you are mourning the loss of a loved one or a failed relationship or your lost health, this is the last thing you want to hear but it will be said to you. Someone out there with their incredibly naive perception of reality and Pollyanna outlook on your tragedy will utter this bullshit in response to your pain.  "Everything happens for a reason," "God has a plan," "This pain will make you a better person," and all your other painful paradoxical platitudes will not make it easier for me to watch my life shift in response to my lost health. All you are doing with these phrases is replacing my grief with unsolicited advice.  Now, I'm not saying that I do not recognize that I have grown immens...

GUYS! I did something! I did a thing that makes me feel a little bit more whole.  Yesterday, after going a full week without fainting, I walked to class on my own. I've been practicing walking with my friends around to help me if I get weak or dizzy but yesterday I left my suite and walked about 600 yards to my first class. I needed some help, for my own peace of mind, up the hill of Cater Walk to lunch and across the street to work but other than that, I was independently mobile.  A year ago, this would have been a regular Friday. This wouldn't have even crossed my mind. But 5 months ago, I wasn't sure that I'd ever be do this again. 3 months ago, I wasn't sure I'd go back to school. 3 weeks ago, I thought this campus, with all its hills and bricks, would be the death of me.  But I did it. Even just for a day, I walked on my own and had a taste of normalcy again. What was even more amazing, was how many people knew how much of an accomplishment this...

As I mentioned, I have returned to WAC a week early to train as a Peer Mentor. The Peer Mentor program is designed to match upperclassmen with first year students during orientation and the first semester so that the first year students have someone to guide them through their transition. This is my second year as a PM and I really enjoy it. Two of my suite mates and a bunch of my other friends are also PMs, so training and orientation is a blast! We started training on Friday. Then, on Saturday, we went to Echo Hill ( http://www.ehos.org/ ) for a bonding retreat. Now we are back in the classroom, training until the freshman arrive on Thursday. I've been using this time to practice in the wheelchair and experiment with my walking abilities around campus before everyone else arrives. I'm getting pretty good but there are still many of parts on campus that are too steep for me. Peer Mentor training is surprisingly fun and exciting. Although we have several boring sessions a ...