Growing Deeper Roots: My Story of Invisible Illness

It's been almost 2 years since I have posted to this blog. Believe me, I have tried. I have about 25 saved draft posts that never got published because they ended up sounding like the same repetitive story. Another pattern of rumination. Another soliloquy of self pity.  That's because the last three years of my life have been fairly cyclical and unchanged. I have a few good weeks where my symptoms plateau and I faint only once or twice a month. Then, a storm hits. I get a cold and I crash into a regressive phase where I faint daily, injury myself, get frustrated, and then slowly move back up to the plateau.  I have been tired and frustrated as I put grad school on pause, as I continue living with my parents, as I take three steps forward 2 steps back. So I stopped blogging and started to do what I could to move forward, pretending I am not sick, and working on ways to get healthier like a normal 24 year old. But still on pause.  But over the last few weeks, ...

One of the nicest ways that people have shown me that they care about me since I have been sick has been with investing their own time to learn about my illness or treatment. Since I have decided to apply for a service dog, several people have sent me stories about service dogs and, as someone who loves pictures of puppies, I've really enjoyed this. So I thought I would share the joy: A story has been circulating about a bride and her service dog. I really like this picture because I know how important my dog will be when I finally have him/her and I know that he/she will be by my side for every important day and I can't wait to have such a strong bond with my dog.  http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/01/15/touching-photo-captures-bond-between-bride-and-her-service-dog/78839078/ http://www.onegreenplanet.org/news/loyal-service-dog-to-wear-cap-and-gown-at-his-humans-high-school-graduation/ I particularly like to read articles that help explain tha...

As it is with every New Year, my newsfeed has been covered with reflections of 2015 and resolutions and promises for 2016 this week. As I watch the hardest year of my life come to a close, I can't say that I am even slightly sentimental. 2015 was an asshole and I'm not going to miss it at all. I walk into 2016 beaten and bruised from all the bullcrap that 2015 put me through. Though I am trying to be hopeful for a better year, I am facing 2016 with the reasonable expectation that it could be just as challenging, but this time I'm a bit more prepared and a heck of a lot stronger. So I've made a decision.  As the longevity of my disability has become more and more apparent, I have begun making plans revolving around my new normal. I started with the investment of the wheelchair. I had to plan a way to make it through the semester at school with my limited independence and mobility. Now, I'm looking more than a few months ahead. I'm coming to terms with the card...