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Two steps forward, one step back

GUYS! I did something! I did a thing that makes me feel a little bit more whole. 

Yesterday, after going a full week without fainting, I walked to class on my own. I've been practicing walking with my friends around to help me if I get weak or dizzy but yesterday I left my suite and walked about 600 yards to my first class. I needed some help, for my own peace of mind, up the hill of Cater Walk to lunch and across the street to work but other than that, I was independently mobile. 

A year ago, this would have been a regular Friday. This wouldn't have even crossed my mind. But 5 months ago, I wasn't sure that I'd ever be do this again. 3 months ago, I wasn't sure I'd go back to school. 3 weeks ago, I thought this campus, with all its hills and bricks, would be the death of me. 

But I did it. Even just for a day, I walked on my own and had a taste of normalcy again. What was even more amazing, was how many people knew how much of an accomplishment this was for me. 

Throughout my day, professors, other students, and friends smiled at me as I walked across campus, saying things like "Look at you! Walking!" and "Congratulations, Tori!" I was reminded, again, how much love there is on this campus. 


Unfortunately, as life goes for the chronically ill, I did not have a completely victorious day. On my way back to my suite from rehearsal, I fainted in the hallway. Elevator: 1 Tori: 0. 

Luckily, Caleb was with me to catch me and help lay me down without hurting myself. I was only out for under a minute but I woke up frustrated and angry with the end of my day. Caleb, who has seen every stage of this frustrating story, is getting pretty good at calming a frustrated Tori. So we sat in the hallway and he made me laugh while I drank a Propel and recuperated. So, I did manage to successfully not cry in front of Caleb, so it was still a win. 

Now, this morning, I'm waiting for my sister and mom to come visit for the day. Hopefully, they haven't forgotten how to catch a fainting Tori. 


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