If you have ever been in the hospital or a rehab center or suffered from chronic illness, you are probably familiar with frustration.
When you spend four months looking for answers from a dozen doctors in half a dozen different specialities but are still left empty handed, you get frustrated.
When you can't find the words to describe how you are feeling physically, mentally or emotionally and you feel completely misunderstood by your friends, family, and doctors, you get frustrated.
When you wake up to your team of doctors saying that you haven't made enough progress to be discharged to rehab, you get frustrated.
You feel frustrated and angry and helpless with all of your doctors every time you get bad news.
You feel frustrated with PT and OT for not giving you more opportunities to make progress.
You feel frustrated with PMR for not letting you prove to them that you are making progress.
But most of all, you feel frustrated with your weak, broken, worthless body for every time it fails you. You feel frustrated with yourself for not being able to control your mind and body. You feel frustrated with whatever greater force has written this chapter into your story.
I'm 20 years old. As a kid I played outside constantly. I danced for 8 years. I played volleyball. I did yoga everyday and I ran/walked several times a week. I was in shape. I was young, and strong, and in shape. So how did I end up here?
When it starts with slight fatigue and muscles aching, you don't notice the wear it is taking on your body. But then you wake up one day and you can't stand on your own. You look around and you realize that you need help with every single part of your day. Part of me feels like I was hiking and actively moving on my own just yesterday while another part of me feels like it has been years since I felt able.
I'm 20 years old and everyday my mother helps me get dressed. I can't do that on my own.
I'm 20 years old and when I can stand for 5 minutes on my own, it's an event worth celebrating.
I'm 20 years old and I have no idea what type of future I'll have. And somedays, that's just really really frustrating.
When you spend four months looking for answers from a dozen doctors in half a dozen different specialities but are still left empty handed, you get frustrated.
When you can't find the words to describe how you are feeling physically, mentally or emotionally and you feel completely misunderstood by your friends, family, and doctors, you get frustrated.
When you wake up to your team of doctors saying that you haven't made enough progress to be discharged to rehab, you get frustrated.
You feel frustrated and angry and helpless with all of your doctors every time you get bad news.
You feel frustrated with PT and OT for not giving you more opportunities to make progress.
You feel frustrated with PMR for not letting you prove to them that you are making progress.
But most of all, you feel frustrated with your weak, broken, worthless body for every time it fails you. You feel frustrated with yourself for not being able to control your mind and body. You feel frustrated with whatever greater force has written this chapter into your story.
I'm 20 years old. As a kid I played outside constantly. I danced for 8 years. I played volleyball. I did yoga everyday and I ran/walked several times a week. I was in shape. I was young, and strong, and in shape. So how did I end up here?
When it starts with slight fatigue and muscles aching, you don't notice the wear it is taking on your body. But then you wake up one day and you can't stand on your own. You look around and you realize that you need help with every single part of your day. Part of me feels like I was hiking and actively moving on my own just yesterday while another part of me feels like it has been years since I felt able.
I'm 20 years old and everyday my mother helps me get dressed. I can't do that on my own.
I'm 20 years old and when I can stand for 5 minutes on my own, it's an event worth celebrating.
I'm 20 years old and I have no idea what type of future I'll have. And somedays, that's just really really frustrating.
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